Written by Amber Fuller, LMFT, CEO/Clinical Director
Let’s be real—most of the world was ready to slam the door on 2024 and never look back. Personally? It was a year of growing pains, rejection, change, and more “What just happened?” moments than I can count. But here’s the kicker: flipping the calendar doesn’t magically fix everything. You’ve got to do the work.
Now, let’s talk about dating. Oh. My. Gosh. Dating in 2025 as a 30-something feels like an Olympic sport—except the rules keep changing, and half the players disappear mid-game. I had, without a doubt, the worst dating year of my life. Backstory? I separated in 2022, officially divorced in December 2023, and then started dating someone in October of that year. We dreamed big—marriage, home renovations, retiring on a sailboat. And then… poof. By the end of January, he was gone. Just like that, my “fresh start” was underway, whether I liked it or not.
Cue my enrollment in a support group for getting over exes. That breakup hit hard. He seemed like everything I wanted—until I realized (through months of work and self-reflection) that I actually wanted something better. The class? Life-changing. The community? A game-changer. And from there, I committed to investing in me.
Here’s what that looked like in tangible ways:
1. Investing in my goals and dreams
2. Prioritizing my physical health
3. Caring for my emotional and mental well-being
4. Nurturing my friendships
5. Taking a real approach to my love life
Sounds simple, right? Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. But I did it. Did it lead to a long-term relationship? Nope. But it did lead to clarity.
Now, let’s address the elephant in the dating app: commitment issues are rampant. Every guy I meet (and my friends agree) says, “People just want the rush of being liked, and then they’re gone.” And honestly? That’s been my experience too. I’ve had my fair share of runners, three-weekers, casual fun-seekers, and—gulp—people with serious red flags. Relationships take work, and unfortunately, not everyone wants to p
ut in the effort.
Then there was my poof man. I truly believe he loved me. But when someone disappears, you’re left to piece it all together yourself—hello, deep dive into attachment theory! If you haven’t read Attached, add it to your cart immediately.
And let’s not forget the ghosters. One guy blocked me out of nowhere, only to later reveal that, surprise! He wasn’t actually the person he claimed to be. This was my first attempt at dating nine months post-poof man. I thought I’d found my forever. Instead, I found the Ghostbusters.
A PSA on safety: Dating isn’t just emotionally exhausting—it can be dangerous. In the middle of all this, I encountered something so deeply traumatic I can’t even write it out yet. What I will say is this: trust your gut. Always meet in public. Don’t share your home address too soon. If your intuition raises a red flag, listen to it. It’s almost never wrong.
Now, onto matchmaking—because after all of this, I turned to the professionals. The verdict? On a scale of 1-10, I’d give the experience a solid 3. It’s a numbers game, they say. But let’s be real—at this point, I’d rather win the lottery than go on another “meh” date.
So, what have I learned? Self-worth, trust, and patience. This past year has been the loneliest of my life. “Trust the process,” I kept hearing. “Be patient.” And let me tell you—patience is not my strong suit. But growth is painful, and through it all, I’ve realized one thing: I deserve the love I give to others.
Here’s my final takeaway: Your person won’t just materialize out of thin air. Love, like money, requires effort. I made a commitment to go on at least one date a week for the past few months—intentionally. No compromises on my deal breakers. Have I found the one yet? Nope. But I feel a lot better than I did entertaining guys who ran at the first sign of something real. I've also made a ton of great networking connections and some amazing life long friends.
And guess what? I have a date this Wednesday that actually feels different. Maybe—just maybe—there’ll be more to write about soon.
Until then, stay safe, trust your instincts, and keep swimming… you never know which fish might be your fish.