2020 Goal Setting
written by Amber Fuller, LMFT and clinic director/owner of Fuller Living
I’m not here to write one of those stereotypical, “what are your goals for the new year” blog. I am here, however, to get one thinking about how to assess what areas of your life you need to create goals in and steps to take in order to get there…so okay, er, maybe I will end up writing one of those stereotypical “Goal 2020” blogs, but hopefully it’ll have a little of my own therapist flair added!
Last year, I sat down with my husband on January 1st, 2019. We knew we both wanted to grow in certain areas of our life and we both had a desire to be very intentional with the goals we created. We’ve been doing this practice for the last few years. One year, my husband was able to meet Pastor Craig Groeschel of Life church (the number one fastest growing church in the United States) because of this practice! It was amazing! We split our life up into different categories, we were very practical about the steps to take, as well as the people to talk to in order to reach the goals. I will break this down below.
Areas of life
We broke down our areas of life into the following categories: Spiritual, parenting, financial, business, community, marriage, physical health.
When creating goals for the spiritual category, we thought about the areas of spirituality that we wanted to grow in. My goals, for example, were to read the whole bible in one year, read at least 2 books on spiritual growth, and continue to serve in different ways in our church. What was the why behind these goals? We desire to be the best version of ourselves, to be as close to the Lord as we can be, and to continue to be in his will, because for us, this means that we are living the most fulfilled life we can live.
When creating goals for parenting, we identified specific needs that we could tell our kids had and we were able to know of these needs by either asking them directly, doing research about their age group, and knowing our own parenting weaknesses. My goals for this category were to read at least 4 books on parenting, take my son out for a date at least once a month, and doing my own personal work in creating boundaries with my kids so that they would have more respect for me. My “why” behind this goal? To be the best mom I can be!
The financial goals can be tough for some people. Thankfully, we’ve been blessed in that we are best friends with financial peace university and have been following the baby steps for the last three years. Maybe you have your debt completely paid off. Maybe you’re saving for a home. Maybe you are living and giving like nobody else. Whatever stage you are in financially, I believe strongly that every person should go through financial peace university. The program literally lays out financial goals and the steps it take to get there. If you currently have debt, you would want to spend the next year paying off your debt from the smallest to the largest items. The main thing to identify, however, is your “why”. Why do you have the financial goal that you have?
With business goals, I believe that it is important to assess your physical and mental health and the amount of margin you have for the work that you’re doing. I say this because within the last year, I was diagnosed with a lifelong disease that causes significant daily pain. Because of this, I had to reassess what I was doing in my practice and make some serious changes based off of the mental and physical margin I had as well as the goals that I have. The result…taking some serious leaps of faith in growing Fuller Living while stepping back with meeting with clients. It is the absolute best decision I made for Fuller Living and the uttermost terrifying as well. What is your body, heart, and mind asking you to do this year in regards to your business/ministry? Whatever it may be, feel the fear and do it anyway.
Community. What is this? How can one create a goal when it comes to this? For me, this looked like me identifying who I wanted to build stronger relationships with and do life with in a more intimate way. In picking these people out, I thought about whether or not they spoke life or death into my soul. I also thought about the wisdom that they could impart into me as well as the wisdom I could impart into them. I made it a point to identify people that I was going to get together with, be vulnerable with, and do life with, and these people were people that have mastered at least one of the goals listed above. Because of doing this, when I thought I couldn’t go on anymore because of the physical changes that were taking place in my body, I knew that I had a friend that I could chat with via text (my preferred way) or a cup of coffee and that she would speak life into me and pray for immediately. It has been crucial for me during this season of my life. The point of your community goal is suppose to be you identifying people that are going to be able to walk alongside you in the other areas identified.
Marriage goals. My marriage goals mainly consisted of reading certain books. Maybe yours looks like trying marriage counseling for the first time. Maybe it looks like not talking to that unhealthy person anymore about your marriage because all they do is fuel the fire and speak death into your marriage. Maybe it looks like getting a mentor who will speak life into your marriage. Or maybe it looks like choosing to wake up every morning and be intentional about unconditionally serving your spouse. If you need more ideas regarding your marriage goals, ask your spouse. Sit down together and identify the areas in your marriage that could use a little sunshine and water.
In regards to physical health, what is your body telling you it needs? This whole year my body was SCREAMING for attention, sometimes on a second by second basis (even right now as I type this blog my body is begging me to close the laptop and go to sleep). Whatever it is, listen. Exercise is great, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that exercise is all your body needs. Your body may be telling you that it needs more sleep, more water, more medicine, more holistic care, more massages, more stretching. Whatever it might be, your body is incredibly wise and is speaking to you…listen!
All in all, use wisdom when creating your 2020 goals. Don’t fall into the trap of those stereotypical goals without really listening to your own internal compass (maybe the stereotypical ones are what you actually need, but listen to your own compass before jotting them down on a piece of paper). Tell a friend so that they hold you accountable. There’s something powerful about speaking our goals out loud and sharing them. Pick out the right people for you to walk alongside you with these goals. Prioritize your mental and emotional health. Create margin. Get enough rest. Say “no” more times than you need to this year to the things that you’re doing out of obligation and say “yes” to the things that you know would be good for you. Let 2020 be your best year yet, but don’t just sit there and wait for it while 2020 passes you by; be proactive and GET IT!